When I Grow Up

conversations with adults in search of adulthood
Moya Sarner

‘A journalist and psychotherapist explores what it means to be an adult in a world that often infantilises … She takes her skills as a journalist and what she has learned about listening to explore the vexed question of what becoming a mature adult personality might entail, and why achieving it has become such a trial and a puzzlement for so many today, herself included.’

Sally Vickers, The Guardian

‘Moya Sarner has written a book about growing up which also happens to be a book about being alive: about managing pain and loss, about uncertainty and change, about humility and courage, about finding meaning and acceptance. She is asking all the right questions, in our uncertain times, and her search for answers is inspiring.

Writing that is full of insight and depth, and always feels refreshing. This book is invigorating and thought-provoking, rigorous, elegant, and compassionate. It is about thinking, healing, and connecting. We need more like it.’

Tom Hiddleston

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‘Searching and consoling, When I Grow Up interrogates the beliefs we hold about life’s stages, and the labels we yearn for and resist. It is a generous, illuminating exploration of what it means to grow up, why we want to, and how to know when you’ve done it.’

Nell Stevens, author of Bleaker House

‘A deeply compassionate book that made me think differently about not only what it means to be an adult but also what it means to be a human being.’

Imogen West-Knights

‘Journalist and psychotherapist in training Moya Sarner takes us on a journey into what growing up really means, and what it involves. Drawing upon her conversations with adults in search of adulthood, and sharing her case studies and theories, When I Grow Up is an invigorating and thought-provoking novel.’

Happy Mag

‘[A] multi-faceted book which is part psychology, part memoir with a little dash of self-help thrown in for good measure.’

The Ross-Shire Journal

‘Incredibly insightful and helpful. Everyone could learn something from this book.’

Olivia Petter, author of Millennial Love

‘Forgoing the societal markers of adulthood, Moya and those she interviews or interacts with, discuss the ways in which they define adulthood for themselves. An interesting process that feels more real than hitting societal markers of adulthood achievement. Overall, this book was a slap in the face of realism and introspection, and I invite you to get slapped in the face by this book too.’

Carrie Wilson

‘I loved the case studies … Formatting/cadence reminiscent of Helen Russell (which worked for me). I think anyone feeling adult imposter syndrome or adrift could get something out of reading.’

Jane Fair

‘Thoughtful … a painfully honest exploration of what it means to be an adult.’

James McConnachie, The Sunday Times

When do you become an adult? What does it mean to grow up? And what are the experiences that propel us forward — or keep us stuck?

These are the questions that journalist Moya Sarner sets out to answer as she begins training as a psychotherapist. But as she delves further into her own mind and others’, she soon realises that growing up is far from the linear process we imagine it to be. So begins a journey of discovery into what growing up really involves, and how we do it again and again throughout our lives.

From early adulthood through to old age, When I Grow Up examines each life stage, interrogating the traditional markers of adulthood and finding new ones. Through conversations with grown-ups from all walks of life, and through her own experiences and training, Sarner probes deep into our psyches to discover how we grow and develop, and what we need to thrive throughout our lives.

Sally Vickers, The Guardian

Tom Hiddleston

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Nell Stevens, author of Bleaker House

‘A deeply compassionate book that made me think differently about not only what it means to be an adult but also what it means to be a human being.’

Imogen West-Knights

Happy Mag

‘[A] multi-faceted book which is part psychology, part memoir with a little dash of self-help thrown in for good measure.’

The Ross-Shire Journal

‘Incredibly insightful and helpful. Everyone could learn something from this book.’

Olivia Petter, author of Millennial Love

Carrie Wilson

‘I loved the case studies … Formatting/cadence reminiscent of Helen Russell (which worked for me). I think anyone feeling adult imposter syndrome or adrift could get something out of reading.’

Jane Fair

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Details

Format:Paperback

Size: 234mm × 153mm

Extent:304pp

ISBN (13):9781925849882

RRP:$32.99

Pub date:3 May 2022

Rights Held: World English

High-res cover:Download Image

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AUTHOR

Moya Sarner

Moya Sarner is a psychodynamic psychotherapist and award-winning freelance journalist based in London. She has written for The Times, The Guardian, New Scientist, Stylist, and other publications. When I Grow Up is her first book.