In this groundbreaking book, Dr David Schnarch, one of the foremost experts on sexuality and relationships, explains why normal healthy couples in long-term relationships have sexual-desire problems, regardless of how much they love each other or how well they communicate. In-depth examples of couples he has counselled reveal his unique understanding of common but difficult sexual-desire problems that affect couples of all ages. Combining compassion and clinical wisdom, Dr Schnarch explains how to use his revolutionary Four Points of Balance approach to resolve low desire, mismatched desire, sexual boredom, and the emotional gridlock that accompanies these problems.
Intimacy & Desire provides a roadmap for how couples can transform common sexual-desire problems into self-exploration and personal development that leads to psychological and spiritual growth, stronger relationships, and more powerful and meaningful desire for each other. It provides time-proven, comprehensive solutions that help couples reconnect with each other sexually, and take their intimacy and passion to new, previously unexplored heights.
'This is a must read for any couple facing sexual desire problems in their relationship. In a highly readable book, you have one of the leading sex and marital therapists in the world offering evidence-based solutions. Follow his guidance and you can awaken your desire and passion and increase intimacy in your relationship.'
Eli Coleman, Ph.D., Chair in Sexual Health Program, University of Minnesota Medical School
View all reviews
'Once again, David Schnarch gives us a roadmap for understanding and working with couples struggling with issues around sexual desire. Defining sexual desire differences as normal rather than pathological and elucidating the potential for psychological and spiritual growth within problems of desire turns conventional thinking 180 degrees and opens new vistas for therapeutic intervention. Every couples therapist should read this book and apply it to their work with themselves as well as with their clients.'
William M. Pinsof, Ph.D., President, The Family Institute at Northwestern University
'Dr. Schnarch is my kind of therapist; his approach is about the connection of minds before the connection of bodies. He normalizes the inevitable situation of having one high and one low desire partner, and he validates each person. He is practical and his approach is compassionate but direct, honest and disarmingly intuitive. He gives each partner tools, but more importantly, hope and motivation. He can produce results... I know he can because the couples I have sent to him have uniformly come back in a more positive and passionate frame of mind. This book is valuable for all couples- not just couples in crisis. In fact, if more couples who were reasonably satisfied with their sex life would read this book, they might find themselves capable of greater passion and intimacy than they thought they could have. Dr. Schnarch gives us ways to ground ourselves so that we are capable of great curiosity, connection and pleasure. The journey he takes us on is not easy- but the rewards are plentiful and long lasting.'
Pepper Schwartz, Ph. D., Professor of Sociology, University of Washington, Past President of The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, Author of Prime: Adventures and advice about sex, love and the sensual years