Come as You Are

the surprising new science that will transform your sex life
Emily Nagoski

‘Emily Nagoski is worth her weight in TED Talks, and Come as You Are is a master-class in the science of sex.’

Ian Kerner, sex therapist and bestselling author of She Comes First

‘Emily Nagoski has written one of the most important books about sex any woman (or anybody else) could ever pick up, full of insights that are both fascinating and deeply useful. Synthesizing new research and theory about sexuality with old-school sex-positive information of the sort you didn't learn in sex ed (unless, perhaps, you are a Unitarian, or Scandinavian, or lucky enough to be in Dr Nagoski’s class), I guarantee Come as You Are will open minds and change lives.’

Carol Queen, PhD, founding director of Center for Sex & Culture

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‘Brilliantly written.’

Sara Pascoe

‘As a literary work, Nagoski’s book deserves plaudits for the rare achievement of merging pop science and the sexual self-help genre in prose that’s not insufferably twee … ‘You are normal!’ doesn’t sound much like a battlecry, but in a world keen to sexually homogenise women from the gap of their thighs to the shape of their mons pubis, the sentiment lands like a bomb.’

Van Badham, The Guardian

‘[Nagoski] explains that all the questions she’s asked about sex can be condensed into one, ‘Am I normal?’ Come As You Are is a collection of answers to that question, informed by current science, as well as personal stories. She intends to ‘empower’ her readers ‘to reach for and achieve [their] own profound and unique sexual potential’ … Readable and accessible through a comprehensive index, Come as You Are will help many women concerned about their sexuality.’

Anna Creer, Canberra Times

‘This title is both a manifesto and a sex education manual that will empower women to be at peace with their bodies and their sexual well-being … An essential purchase for consumer health and women’s health collections. This book will empower women to fully understand why their sexual desire is so different from men’s.’ STARRED REVIEW

Rebecca Raszewski, Library Journal

‘Absolutely jam packed with helpful insight into a better sex life. You’ll want to tell all your friends immediately.’

Sophie Holloway, Ladies Come First

‘Come As You Are screams female empowerment loud and proud.’

Independent

‘Wonderful new language to help us articulate to women (and their lovers) what is going on.’

Huffington Post

‘Like a punch to the gut. When I read the passage that made me realise — after all these years — that I was not actually broken, I began to cry … I wished [Nagoski] was someone who was actively in my life, someone I could reach out to for grounding every time I momentarily forgot the lessons in her book.’

Book Riot

‘Lots of books — and articles and experts — claim to have the keys to transform your sex life. This one actually has it. It isn't as fast as taking a pill, but it will last a whole lot longer. You will find no hot new bedroom moves — it’s that deeper-level soul stuff. You know, the stuff that actually works.’

Salon

‘At its core Come As You Are is a battle cry to feel confident in your own skin and banish the question ‘Am I normal?’ once and for all.’

Alice Broster, Bustle

‘It's the science of sex, decoded and demystified. Want to be educated on the latest findings about female genitalia? Of course you do. Empowering and sex-positive at best, this informative read makes for an enticing bedfellow.’

Refinery29

‘Emily Nagoski’s liberating insight into female sexuality is life-changing.’

Kate Wills, The Sun

‘This is the best book I have ever read exploring the science of female sexuality. I am a total evangelist for Nagoski’s work … You think you know how women’s sexuality works? I can guarantee that you do not. Not until you read this, anyway. The book is definitely great for college students and for bright high schoolers as well.’

Peggy Orenstein, author of Girls and Sex

‘A fantastic resource.’

Dr Caroline West, Irish Independent

‘This is the best book I have ever read about sexual desire and why some couples just stop having sex, and what they can do about it. Come as You Are is an absolutely necessary guide for all couples who want to understand the ups and downs in their own sex life. It is a must read!’

John Gottman, PhD, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

An essential exploration of women’s sexuality that will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy.

After all the books that have been written about sex, all the blogs and TV shows and radio Q&As, how can it be that we all still have so many questions? The frustrating reality is that we’ve been lied to — not deliberately, it’s no one’s fault, but still. We were told the wrong story.

Come as You Are reveals the true story behind female sexuality, uncovering the little-known science of what makes us tick and, more importantly, how and why. Sex educator Dr Emily Nagoski debunks the common sexual myths that are making women (and some men!) feel inadequate between the sheets.

Underlying almost all of the questions we still have about sex is the common worry: ‘Am I normal?’ This book answers with a resounding Yes! We are all different, but we are all normal — and once we learn this, we can create for ourselves better sex and more profound pleasure than we ever thought possible.

‘Emily Nagoski is worth her weight in TED Talks, and Come as You Are is a master-class in the science of sex.’

Ian Kerner, sex therapist and bestselling author of She Comes First

Carol Queen, PhD, founding director of Center for Sex & Culture

View all reviews

‘Brilliantly written.’

Sara Pascoe

Van Badham, The Guardian

Anna Creer, Canberra Times

Rebecca Raszewski, Library Journal

‘Absolutely jam packed with helpful insight into a better sex life. You’ll want to tell all your friends immediately.’

Sophie Holloway, Ladies Come First

‘Come As You Are screams female empowerment loud and proud.’

Independent

‘Wonderful new language to help us articulate to women (and their lovers) what is going on.’

Huffington Post

Book Riot

Salon

‘At its core Come As You Are is a battle cry to feel confident in your own skin and banish the question ‘Am I normal?’ once and for all.’

Alice Broster, Bustle

Refinery29

‘Emily Nagoski’s liberating insight into female sexuality is life-changing.’

Kate Wills, The Sun

Peggy Orenstein, author of Girls and Sex

‘A fantastic resource.’

Dr Caroline West, Irish Independent

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Details

Format:Paperback

Size: 210mm × 135mm

Extent:400pp

ISBN (13):9781925106596

RRP:$32.99

Pub date:22 Apr 2015

Rights Held: UK & Commonwealth

Rights Sold: India (Speaking Tiger)

High-res cover:Download Image

AWARDS

2015 Goodreads Choice Awards 'Best Science & Technology Book' - Long-listed

CATEGORIES / tags

AUTHOR

Emily Nagoski

Emily Nagoski is Wellness Education Director and Lecturer at Smith College, where she teaches Women’s Sexuality. She has a PhD in Health Behavior with a doctoral concentration in human sexuality from Indiana University (IU), and a master’s degree (also from IU) in counseling, with a clinical internship at the Kinsey Institute Sexual Health Clinic. She has taught graduate and undergraduate classes in human sexuality, relationships and communication, stress management, and sex education. She is the author of three guides for Ian Kerner’s GoodInBed.com, including the Guide to Female Orgasm, and she writes the popular sex blog, TheDirtyNormal.com. She is the author of the New York Times bestseller Come As You Are.